random rant after being in bed for three days...

I almost never get tired during rehearsals. So when I did last Thursday, that should've been a warning for me. But then again, by that time, there probably was nothing I could've done anyway...
I got sick on the way back from rehearsal on Thursday, on the train. I ended up lying on the bed through the entire weekend... That was exciting...
To be honest, I wasn't eating well in the few days prior... In retrospect, this was only to be expected. Must. eat. well.
And because all I could think since Thursday night till now was, "shoot, shoot, shoot" (or it's equivalents...), my memory from Thursday's rehearsal is spotty at best. So I decided to to just randomly rant for this entry.

As a teacher, I receive emails from students and students parents about how they are not happy about their (or their kids') progress while practicing. Not as in complaints to me, but they seem confused when they are on their own. To be honest, I never fully understood any of these concerns. Only because, there is nothing wrong with slow progress, especially if you are not even practicing two hours a day, everyday. First, you have to do it, before you can hope to get better at it. With anything, really.

Imagine, you are born into a samurai family for instance (this may sound silly, but bare with me). You are told that in fifteen years, you are to go into a battle field and fight. Well, I don't want to die, so If I were in that situation, I probably would train every waking moment of my life up until that day, so the probability of me staying alive is greater. One day of slack, can cost my life. And on the flip side, no one can kill an enemy with THAT much determination.

You may think this example isn't here nor there in relation to practicing music. But I practice because I want to keep my job. And so long as I have certain skills, no one can take that away from me. Most of my students have other dreams beside being a musician. That's fine I do plenty of other things too. But I don't expect myself to be as good with those other things as I am in music, simply because I don't spend as much time doing them. Therefore, I look upon those with the skills with much admiration and respect, but I don't expect myself to become like them. I believe that I already have a role in society, and my priority is to keep it, and fulfill it as best as I can. In regards to other things, I do them simply because they make my life a little more interesting, and make me feel more like a human being than a music making machine. And therefore, I regard my other things just as important as music, only I don't spend as much time on them.

So, if a seventeen year old doesn't sound like Yo-Yo Ma, and is crying about it, I pity the student, not because his/her level is not high enough, but because of how out of touch he/she is with reality. I'm not saying one should lower the standards, but your goal should reflect the likely hood of how much time you would be spending doing the activity. If your goal is simply being better than other people, then you got a life time of misery awaiting for you. Like a samurai, who's sole goal in life is to survive, then you will lose sight of everything else around you, and you may survive, but will never live - not a humanly fulfilling life. You'd just be a cold-hearted fighting machine. And even a well conditioned machine, would eventually fail.

I'm a musician, but my goal is to live and show life, through music.

Somehow, humans have made this world a place a very fast pace, competitive, and I dare say, a destructive world, that favors machine like "warriors", and not very kind to life-loving artists. Sadly, even in the music world. Those that can play the instrument well (whatever that means), are favored over those who can transport you with sounds (people who can play music, rather than their instrument -  there is a big difference). One of the pit falls of the classical music is that, it is sooooooo ridiculously demanding. When the notes are that hard just to play them, we focus on those stupid notes, and forget the message that those notes carry. And when we focus on the notes, we forget why we play music in the first place, and start liking them less. And that's why I love non-classical music as well. You can get right down to the music, right past the notes, because for the most part, the notes in other genres tend to be easier (unless you start improvising, of course -  then it is all about your own battle with your instruments AND music).

Nobody likes school or work. Every time we get a day off from them, we cheer. Yet otherwise we go diligently, every single day. A lot of time is spent in those places. Of course you'll see some kind of result. After all, we spend more time in those places than doing any other activity. I just hope it is worth it.

As a teacher, I try to offer things I felt were left completely untouched during my school days. The ability to see other possibilities in life for one, felt like it was decidedly suppressed, and seemed like it was considered dangerous. Well, I'm not a dangerous person, and I think seeing possibilities is way too important of a skill to not touch upon. And the best way to teach that is through creativity. I think of creativity is one of most essential traits of a human being. If my job is not considered important, then you might as well remove brains from all people on earth and replace them with computer hard drives.

People might respect me if I say "I'm a musician". I think because many people think of people like Jay-Z or Miles Davis or Guns n Roses, when they hear the phrase. But when I say "I'm a music teacher", all of a sudden I find myself having much less audience, and respect for that matter.

Anyway, what does any of this have to do with having better practice sessions? There are two ways. One is to treat practicing as one of the things you do every day, whether you like it or not. We all do a lot of things we don't like doing everyday. Homework, job-related stuff, even tooth-brushing (who actually likes doing that?), etc. you might as well throw practicing in there. Do it without questioning.

The second and a more enjoyable way is to simply listen to yourself carefully when you do practice. You must know this, that every time you play a piece with your instrument, you are getting better at it. Try to listen to your improvements. Play and then try to listen for what's gotten better. But you must listen very very very very carefully, for reality isn't THAT kind. But it is true and you must know that it is true, that, every single time you play, you are improving.