On "performance"

Wow, I really fell behind on this. Blog keeping is tougher than it seems...

I just want to say a few words about performance - what kind of thoughts would make you nervous, and what it really is that we do when we perform - in reflection of chamber's last performance, and in preparation for CYO's upcoming performance.

Let me start off with quickly saying that I thought the chamber performance went very well (!) considering we had to make some last minute adjustments due to our certain circumstances. And I'm very happy with it! Great job, everyone! Let's talk in details about it tomorrow.

In general, as a teacher/coach, I still struggle to make students feel relaxed on stage... I still have much to learn... One thing I'd like to say is that, it is hard to enjoy anything when you are nervous. But the thing is, the audience will have a great time, if YOU are having a great time on stage. The irony is, if you are only thinking about how "you" want to sound good, and/or worry about how/what the audience might think of you, you WILL get nervous. And by that logic, the audience might appreciate how cute you look, being nervous on stage, but we may come out a bit short in making them "truly" impressed.

When you are thinking of how others might feel about you, you are being passive. When you are passive, you are being the recipient of whatever feelings and thoughts your audience may have of you, and you are in mercy of your audience members, no matter how hard you try.

As a performer, you cannot ever forget that people are letting us play, and they are willing to listen to us. So we must always be thankful to the people behind the event and every member of the audience. BUT at the same time, you are also "providing" them a service, an entertainment, maybe even an enlightenment. You are not the receiver, but the provider. They should be the ones receiving whatever it is you are expressing VIA your music.  I started to think that it's slightly selfish to only think of how "I sound" on stage. So I shifted my thoughts, first towards "what can I do for them", then eventually to "let's just enjoy this moment together". But it did take me about 30 years to get here, so I do understand your struggles, believe me...  but it didn't really come with time. It came with shifting of thoughts. My focus is now on "how can I make my students feel that way about their performances" :)

Together, let's try to break down this wall and make a transition from being passive performers to those of good service providers. And that is NOT done by just playing the notes well, but by acting the notes out. Don't only play those notes that have the meanings, but act those notes, characters, and meanings out with sounds and gestures!

Here's a good example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtu9seqYu-Y

For all we know, some of them can be having the crappiest day of their lives when this performance took place. But they know their places and their roles, and they are quite serious about it. Be governed by the notes and the harmony, and DON'T be governed by the audience!